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memo to the washington post: The phrase A Tense Calm is something of an oxymoron. A "tense quiet" might be more apt.

memo to my left wrist: As it is unlikely I will be able to stop picking up a squirming 25+ pounds anytime in the foreseeable future, please to stop hurting now. Thank you.

memo to whoever created the heavens and the earth: perhaps You were a bit hasty in dismissing a 25-hour day. Heck, 26 wouldn't be so bad.

memo to my daddy: thank you for being an awesome father and an even better grandpapa.

memo to Alan Ball: I actually think it's cool that you are using the Sookie Stackhouse books as a starting point and moving forward in different directions. But I don't think I can sit through another episode about the Jesus Fellowship of the Sun camp. (I was raised an uptight Episcopalian, evangelical fervor makes me SQUIRM.)

memo to Charlaine Harris: Eric>Bill

memo to the BBC: I don't think you meant to say that grizzly bears live in "Canada and North America." I think you meant Canada and the northern United States. Don't be like those people who think "South America" refers to the former confederacy. You're the *Beeb*.

memo to myself: Get to bed already!

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